He Said Archives:
Saw it coming from a mile away? How about from the Hubble telescope – without the telescope part? How about from my crystal ball, which is indistinguishable from the bottom of a beer bottle? How about from the minute you showed his Facebook profile to your girlfriends and their response was a collective yawn? Yeah, I
I was the nice guy once. It happened in third grade. My troublemaker friend Tommy got the cutest girl in the class because he was, well, bad (“bad” in those days meant looking up the teacher’s dress or passing notes in class). I was, well, good and the only thing good got me in third grade
Emergency contact? Isn’t that the same as “plus one,” but without the alcohol? OK, maybe not. But any time we have to check a box or space on a form, we seem to find ourselves assessing our place in life in general – and we often don’t like what we see. My pet peeve, on
Plus One? Is that anything like BYOB? Or Pot Luck? Maybe not, but all do have one thing in common; we all are feel like losers if we don’t comply. Personally, I find plus one to be highly overrated. I speak from experience – I was married, remember? I used to dread the “plus one”
My favorite is the orgasm scene in the restaurant… The best I can do on this subject is to share three personal stories. These stories will only confirm the conclusion you have ultimately reached… that 98% of the time, men and women simply cannot be friends. If there is even a sniff of sexual frustration
There’s a fine line between getting older and getting old. You’re still on the young side of that line, but to paraphrase the immortal Satchel Paige, “Don’t look back… something might be gaining on you.” Yeah, like the calendar. Everybody makes such a big deal about age. I’m no different. If someone has a woman
I don’t think my parents ever cheated on each other. I never even thought about it as a kid, but even now, with my experience as an adult in this age of infidelity, I’d still bet my monthly rent on the two of them being completely faithful for all 50 plus years of their marriage.
Obviously you’ve never heard the old joke. Hard to believe, since I’ve been beating it to death since I was old enough to tell the difference between bad luck and no luck, but it goes something like this: “How do you make God laugh? Have a plan.” I have no idea who invented these fairy
Your grandmother was right. It has been true since the third grade. The way in which a woman presents herself is the single most defined portion of what a man thinks when he meets her. Part and parcel with this is the fact that a woman can only present herself as the woman she truly
