He Said Archives:
Maybe we should start at the end – mainly because I don’t know what to tell you about the beginning of your plight. As you’ve already sideways-referenced, if it weren’t for bad luck, you wouldn’t have any luck at all. This is only sexy when it’s part of a blues song… When it happens in [...]
Pray tell, fine lass, how doth thou travel the wrong road, time and time again? Let me count the ways.
Are you kidding me? Seriously, you know I love you, but you’re making me scratch my head. This is just plain lame. NOT that it’s so wrong to be friends with the neighborly couple and NOT [...]
Okay, much to discuss. You have a new friend and you’ve been drinking a lot of beer lately. Those are two very positive things in my book. Well, maybe just the beer. And the positive stops there.
Call me cynical (and with good reason), but did you lose your innate sense of male-female interaction somewhere along [...]
Is there anything more complicated and difficult to explain than how and why our stomachs do triple somersaults at the sight of the good ones we had and lost? There was probably a damn good reason at the time, but that reason can be easily forgotten when the only thing that’s changed about them is [...]
Phone sex is great… It’s also greatly underrated. We all masturbate anyway, right? Maybe some of us more than others? Well, isn’t phone sex simply masturbating, with a little encouragement from a friend?
I haven’t had phone sex in a long time, but I remember the last time as if it was tomorrow. My girlfriend at [...]
Girls… Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em and can’t ignore ‘em… Now you know what it’s like to be a guy.
I don’t think I’ve ever been accused of trying to steal a friend’s girl. I did violate a somewhat similar trust in high school, however; I dated an ex-girlfriend of a good friend [...]
I’m sorry, but Facebook sucks. There, I said it. I know EVERYONE is on Facebook, has 1,000 “friends,” and a “relationship status” and an annoying need to share their useless minutia with the entire world, but I couldn’t be happier not to be on Facebook. When it comes to relationship status, Facebook is to relationships what [...]
A couple of months ago, I stopped by my local pub for a beer and ended up going home with the cocktail waitress. I know it was tacky, but she was sexy and I hadn’t been in this position in a long time, so I was WAY too excited to even consider how I might [...]
I LOVE weddings. The only hangover I’ve ever gotten from a wedding wasn’t even my fault – it was the first time I’d ever seen an ice sculpture of a tree with branches made of vodka bottles. It was also the only time I ever woke up next to a bridesmaid. Sometimes, even the worst [...]
Saw it coming from a mile away? How about from the Hubble telescope – without the telescope part? How about from my crystal ball, which is indistinguishable from the bottom of a beer bottle? How about from the minute you showed his Facebook profile to your girlfriends and their response was a collective yawn? Yeah, I [...]
