This is either the worst idea you’ve had in a long time, or it’s the best. The roadblocks are everywhere… The bad memories have lingered… Odds are that you’ll be experiencing the same old pain in a plethora of new ways once this thing has played out…. But still. There’s something to be said for the rush of adrenaline and those same ol’ feelings that can only happen when someone we loved, or lusted after, or both, re-enters our lives. You’re probably headed for disaster, but the ride might be worth the price.

Let’s start with a heavy dose of reality: He made a list??? And you kept it??? I don’t know which is worse. What was on such a list? How long was it? And WHY THE HELL DID YOU KEEP IT? I’m no expert, but NO ONE on this planet has the right to put such a list together, much less actually present it to the woman. At the other end, that list should have been burned when you received it, not kept.
Shame on both of you.

Plus… If you really think that the first time around was based purely on the “mystery” of it all, what about it feels any different now? How do you know his return foray into your life would be any different now? How do you know that he won’t lose interest again, stop wanting to kiss you and become less attractive by the hour? It’s ten years later; if a guy became less attractive to you, then how can an additional decade of loose skin and receding hair be anything other than a guarantee that it will happen again?

Not to mention the part about no sex being, “… pretty much just like our old relationship.” Since when is that OK? I’ll tell you when that’s OK – when you’ve been married for a hundred years and have a house full of kids.You were entering your sexual prime during this relationship, weren’t you? Are you telling me you were willing to accept that, even for a minute? One of the reasons I don’t get involved with women I don’t care about is because I figure it’ll be obvious that I’m not interested after the first five minutes, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Clearly, you were one of those women who can tell when a man loses interest. Clearly, you remember this part of the relationship, well, clearly. This alone should have been completely unacceptable at the time. Now, it’s exactly the way things should be.

The good news? You used to be friends. You used to be best friends. You used to be “When Harry Met Sally.” Think of all the couples you know today. Now, think about those few that are worth the price of admission. What is it about these couples that makes a relationship seem even plausible, not to mention desirable? It’s the friendship they have, inside and out. You guys are ten years later this time around. Being friends is the best part of this relationship that you remember – maybe the only good part. If we all have to get to a certain point in our lives before knowing this and living this become one in the same, maybe the guy you used to love has gotten to this point. I hope so… If not, you are in for a world of hurt.

Do me, and yourself this one favor, and this time you have to really mean it. DO NOT make this thing about him, and what he wants and who he has become. Make it about you, and what YOU want and who YOU have become. You’ll be doing yourself, and him a lot of good.

And pardon my ignorance, but what exactly is #1, anyway?