Is there anything more complicated and difficult to explain than how and why our stomachs do triple somersaults at the sight of the good ones we had and lost? There was probably a damn good reason at the time, but that reason can be easily forgotten when the only thing that’s changed about them is that their eyes are now “crinkling.”

There isn’t a man alive without an ex-girlfriend – at least not a man worth a damn. Clearly, I’m no exception. First of all, I was married. Talk about an “ex.” This is the reason the term “ex” was coined. But I’m not talking about failure and anger. I’m talking about the good stuff – love, sex and possibility. Those are the ones that stay with us. On the other hand, can we really go home again? Present situation excluded (for now), isn’t there something inherently limited about re-connecting with an old lover? The first girlfriend I had after my divorce felt like the first real girlfriend I had in high school. I was an adult, but I was knee-deep in puppy love. After it ended, we had two aborted attempts to rekindle. Both ended in failure. The first time, it broke my heart all over again. The second time, it made all the sense in the world. I remember being excited about another opportunity with a woman I thought I loved, but I also remember the foreboding lack of faith I kept trying to ignore. The stuff that derailed us the first time around hadn’t changed – it couldn’t change. My initial regret eventually morphed into relief and understanding. Just because a relationship is passionate and deep, doesn’t mean it’s right.

Of course, you’re much more of a romantic than I am. For openers, you’re a woman. You’re also a woman who’s not afraid to dream. On top of that, you’re a woman who gets better with time. Maybe the idea of getting a second chance at a first love is romantic bullshit, but I respect that you’re not afraid to be open to the possibility. One good sign is that for every move or decision you made during the course of the night, his counter-move was right on. You didn’t ask him in? He didn’t push or beg. You changed the kiss to a hug? He handled it like a pro. Before you could send the chick text? He had already texted you. As far as romantic notions go, this one is off to a decent start.

On top of all that, you’re not waxing heartfelt about the way he felt about you way back when… You’re remembering, with ever so much fondness, the way you felt about him. Maybe you’re finally getting to the place that all women should eventually be… Maybe you’re finally deciding how you feel about him, before worrying about how he feels about you. That’s something.