Cheaters Never Win And Winners Never Cheat

I don’t think my parents ever cheated on each other. I never even thought about it as a kid, but even now, with my experience as an adult in this age of infidelity, I’d still bet my monthly rent on the two of them being completely faithful for all 50 plus years of their marriage. Therefore, I have no idea what it’s like to be you, at age 6 or 10 or 14, knowing deep in your pre-pubescent gut that your parents, whom you’ve been trying to not only please, but also understand since your 3rd birthday, have both been screwing other people on a regular basis during the time they were supposed to be raising you. I can see where that might make a kid feel like a worthless piece of shit. I’m glad you didn’t let that feeling define you later in life. You didn’t let that feeling define you, did you? You’re over all of that by now… aren’t you? You’re fine – right?

I’ve cheated on girlfriends before – probably all of them. I rationalized that it wasn’t cheating because we weren’t married. Cheating can only happen between a husband and a wife. I had to rationalize this, or I would have felt too guilty. So why do people cheat? For me, it was boredom. Sex with someone you truly care about is the best there is, but sex with someone new and different who’s drinking your Kool-aid with a straw is a very close second. Maybe the order gets mixed up sometimes. I choose not to judge any of it. I know for a fact that I’ll never cheat again – without a doubt. The lasting sense I have from when I was unfaithful is not how guilty or how ashamed it made me feel, but the knowledge that I was just being a lame-ass coward – too scared to confront, too insecure to commit.

I hate to say this, but women who cheat are sexy. There’s something as sexy as it is sinister when a woman cheats. She’s so under control… so buttoned-up… so principled and demure. Then you find out she’s banging some dude she wouldn’t go near in her perfect life and my eyebrows rise in unison with another body part. I know it’s wrong. I know it’s as cheap and sleazy and cowardly when she cheats that it is when he cheats. But it’s still sexy.

People cheat – that doesn’t have to mean that you will, or that he will, if “he” ever comes along. Maybe having cheating parents has given you this sense of doom or created some black hole of emotional doubt that will always impact your love life. I don’t know, and I choose with utter confidence to think that is not the case. But the “belief” you’ve always lived by – the “belief” that there’s a better way to go? Please don’t give that up. That belief is what makes you better than the rest. That belief is what will make the whole journey worthwhile, whenever and wherever it eventually takes you.

You just have to remember to let it take you.

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