Yes You Can
February 2nd, 2010What’s that expression? You have to kiss plenty of frogs before one of them turns into a prince? That expression represents everything wrong with how women are taught to view themselves when it comes to men – even now, in the 21st century. First of all, what’s up with wanting a prince? Because you want to be a princess? Because you want to live in a castle? Because you like the way your man looks in a pair of tights? This message isn’t just wrong, it’s insulting. It’s wrong, because there simply are no princes. We all have a little frog left in us. Furthermore, no real man even wants to be a prince. It’s too much pressure and the sex is lousy. We’d much rather respect a woman than rescue her. It’s insulting to women, because it assumes you to be useless, unless you’re kissing frogs and waiting by the phone for a prince to call. Really? Is that how girls and women want to see themselves? I think not. I hope not.
Which brings us to the word, “no.” Men are great at this. It’s in our DNA. No, I don’t want to talk about it. No, I don’t want to go shopping with you. No, I don’t know what I want, or when I want it. No, no, no fucking way. I knew how to say no before I hit puberty. And since dating completely sucks, it’s easier than anything for a man to say no. We’re the ones who do the asking, remember? All we have to do to say no is… not ask. Of course, it’s different for women. We all know that. You guys have it tough. What’s wrong with wanting to fall in love and have a family with a stable, secure man who loves you? Isn’t that what we all want, male and female? Isn’t that the foundation of who we are? Yet, you have to wait for us to do the asking. At the same time, you’re being torn asunder by Disney dreams, modern roles and everything in between. How tough do we men have it compared to you? We’ve heard the same consistent message for generations: Conquer the world, and find a good woman along the way to help you do it. As if this isn’t enough, women have biological clocks. When it starts ticking, there’s no stopping it without an epidural. Is it any wonder that it’s simply easier, if not better to be a man?
“No” has its limits, and so do you. Maybe you’re not the queen of “no.” Maybe you are giving out more chances than instinct would allow. You’re still a step ahead of both sides of the dating world and you still have a PhD in people. I’ll say what I always say: trust your gut, keep the bar high. If you want to say yes, say yes. If you don’t, then say no. It’s your life. Live it on your terms. However, you may want to come up with a plan that actually includes getting laid once in a while.
