Reality Check
February 9th, 2010First of all, you watch too much reality TV. But in the reality of life, as well as the reality of love, for every pro, there’s a con.
Exhibit A: Why is there such a fine line between the goodness of truly loving someONE and the preposterous notion that there’s any such thing as “The One.” Forgive my lack of open-mindedness, but, no f***ing way. And you know me. I am hardly anti-romance. The ridiculous idea that we all have some sort of “perfect fit” with only one person in this crazy life is a lovely notion, but a notion is all we should ever allow it to be. How do I know this? I don’t for sure. A part of me even hates to say it. But if there’s one thing that every little girl should be taught while growing up, in between the prince on a white horse and the superhero lessons, it is this: There is no such thing as “The One.” Even if I’m wrong, we’ll be doing them a favor. Here’s the good news; whether you fall in love only once in your life, or are lucky enough to do it a couple of times, if it’s truly love, than it will still feel as if you’ve met “The One.”
Exhibit B: Why is it, that on those rare occasions when we actually do fall in love, does it feel so akin to being stripped naked and left to mud wrestle your way to safety? Much like Exhibit A, this is way more a female issue than it is a male issue, but we both know the feeling. One of my favorite clichés about relations in general between men and women goes as follows:
Men fall for women, hoping they’ll stay exactly as they are, but they change.
Women fall for men, hoping to change them, but they remain the same.
That’s the problem with Prince Charming – he doesn’t exist. Neither does “The Perfect Man,” “My Hero,” or “The One.” We all know this, but we tend to forget, every time someone makes us feel good about feeling good about being with them. Who can blame you? Who can blame any of us? If being in love is as good as we all know it to be, then maybe it just shouldn’t be so easy to find.
Before I completely dampen your parade, allow me to let you in on a dirty little secret about the average man that women seem to feel is so necessary to their happiness: We’re different from you when it comes to just about everything – except this. We actually want the same thing, more or less… But much like you’ve been trained since birth to believe, we’ve been trained since then not to believe. It’s as if we’re fighting the same battle, but from opposite sides of the wall. Just don’t tell anyone I told you.
