Dress Rehearsal
February 26th, 2010Your grandmother was right. It has been true since the third grade. The way in which a woman presents herself is the single most defined portion of what a man thinks when he meets her. Part and parcel with this is the fact that a woman can only present herself as the woman she truly believes herself to be.
So you like to watch? Wait, you’re not talking about – oh, never mind. So you had people over? A man and a woman? She had a rock-hard body, and he… she had a rock hard body? And the man wasn’t me? Some friend you are.
It’s so cool when women have the stones to ask a man direct and honest questions. It’s not so cool when they decide not to hear the answers, unless they match exactly what they expect to hear going in. I for one appreciate the woman who asks; it’s the ones who don’t ask that you have watch out for.
As it turns out, just this past weekend I was in the same situation as your guy friend from last night. I went to an old friend’s birthday party and a therapy session soon broke out. In lieu of dessert, I found myself sharing a bottle of champagne with two single, female friends and fielding a slew of queries about the male species.
“What does it mean when a guy comes on really strong, and then disappears?”
It means one of two things: Either you gave it up, and he’s moving on, or you didn’t give it up, and he’s moving on. Either way, it’s not your problem – it’s his.
“I love him, but I want to have a child. He already has kids and doesn’t want any more. What should I do?”
This is simple. Either give up the idea of having a baby with a man you love, or give him up. Is it really that tough a decision?
“I really like this guy at work. I think he likes me, but he’s given no signal besides a little light flirting. What should I do to really get his attention?”
That’s easy – wear a dress. Okay, I stole that from your friend.
Somewhere there must be a discount bin full of books telling women how to be women. Why are women still asking the same questions, over and over? Maybe they haven’t liked the answers they’ve been hearing (or not hearing). Maybe they don’t trust us (gee, can’t understand why). Or maybe love has just been made too damn complicated. Maybe we need to break it down to its simplest form:
Don’t spend so much time thinking about us – unless you’re thinking the same thing about us that we are about you. Don’t disrespect yourself to make us like you – we won’t. Don’t allow yourself to feel incomplete without us – you’re not, and only losers and douche bags want to be with a woman who feels that way about herself.
Then, try your very best to stop thinking. The rest is up to us.
