Are We There Yet?
February 19th, 2010It’s that time. Well, at least I think it’s that time – the, “What’s the status of our relationship?” time. Over a month has gone by. Over 10 dates have gone by. We have Valentine’s Day under our belts; we have been to each other’s houses multiple times. I’ve cooked him dinner. He’s snored through a movie on my couch. I have a close personal relationship with his dog. He’s met a few of my friends.
Sounds like a relationship. Or does it?
It’s so hard to know. In the old days, the beginning of a relationship was easy. You were totally crazy about each other, you both knew it, you spent every possible minute together, and when you weren’t together, you talked on the phone for hours talking about the next time you would see each other. You felt giddy, like teenagers, and it was a feeling you desperately wanted to hang onto because you knew at some point that would end and you would settle into a relationship. But at least you knew.
Times have changed. Cell phones happened. Then the Internet happened. Then instant messaging happened. Then text messaging happened. Then instant messaging on your cell phones in between text messaging happened. Then suddenly through total and complete electronic availability, everyone became unavailable.
In relationships, text-messaging seems to the new phone call. I remember dating a guy with whom I never actually had a real phone conversation. Our entire communication was through emails and texts. While proving to be fun and exciting at first, it just ended up really making my fingers hurt. When I decided to stop seeing him, I let him know with an email (of course). His response: “I deserve a phone call. Message sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld.”
Sometimes I really wish we weren’t so connected. It seems that with all this connection, you never actually get to connect. And then your mind starts to play tricks on you: “He just sent me a text today and didn’t call. Does that mean he doesn’t want to talk to me?” Or, “He’s sent me an email every day for the last two weeks and today I didn’t get one. Does that mean he doesn’t like me anymore?” I spend so much time trying to decipher the “cyber code” that I think half the time the relationship ends in my head before it actually ends. Which we’ve already established, is not a good thing.
So this time, I want it to be different. I really like this guy. I want him to stick around. I don’t quite know where we stand yet, but I guess I don’t have to. It’s still early. I’ll know when I know. But why don’t I get to know until he knows? That’s the part which drives me crazy, because it makes me, quite simply – a girl. And that’s the part where I usually act more like a guy.
Maybe he’ll text me and let me know.
