All Aboard The V-Train…
Or Not
February 12th, 2010
My three most despised holidays:
1) Valentine’s Day
2) Valentine’s Day
3) Valentine’s Day
You are so right about Valentine’s Day. It truly sucks, and for all of the reasons you mentioned. But I hate to break it to you; for guys, it’s even worse. You talk about your friends picking out dresses, dreaming of special moments and seeing so much red everywhere that all you were seeing was – well, red. Put yourself in our shoes for a moment. Women always say, “Valentine’s Day isn’t a big deal… In a good relationship, every day should be Valentine’s Day.” That’s bullshit. You don’t want every day to be Valentine’s Day – you want Valentine’s Day to be Valentine’s Day.
But I don’t blame you. I can’t blame you. Like I always say, it comes down to programming. We have been programmed from an early age to know our role on this day of forced love. You said it yourself with the boxed set of valentines in the 3rd grade. But when your duty ended with those paper cards, ours was just beginning. The 3rd grade was just the start of a lifetime of men disappointing women on February 14th.
A few times I’ve actually gotten it right. On occasion I have given myself a big pat on the back seeing her face break into a smile, saying to myself, “Yep, I did that.” But I’ve also gotten it very, very wrong. No matter how much room I have had remaining on my Visa card, I’ve also fumbled Valentine’s Day away with the biggest blunder a man can make – I’ve completely forgotten about it. I sure do wish I hadn’t been married at the time.
I actually think no matter how right you (or anyone) may get it – you’re still set up to fail. There will always be a friend of yours whose boyfriend will have done something spectacular compared to what yours did. There will always that guy at the gym who is going to talk to me about how great the sex was after he gave his woman the Valentine’s Day of her dreams. Bottom line, that’s not what the day was designed for, but we’re stuck with it and we have to make the best of it.
And this year, by make the best of it, I mean do nothing. Happily.
In your current dating situation, I think you’re actually lucky. You don’t have to choose, and chances are, you’re right – they probably won’t call. But you should feel relieved about that. It’s too new. Cut them some slack. Can you imagine what those guys are thinking, knowing you a month and wondering if they really have to board the V-train already? And would you really want them to? Wouldn’t you rather your first flowers to be because they wanted to buy you some? Wouldn’t you rather a nice dinner on a day, ANY day other than February 14th? I’m praying your answer is yes – otherwise you’re not the cool chick best friend I’ve had for a decade.
Truthfully, Valentine’s Day needs to be one thing – and one thing only – two people, spending time together, knowing that the other wouldn’t rather be anywhere else.
Much like the other 364 days of the year.
