A Rose By Any Other Name

As I look back on the first five weeks of this year, I can’t help but smile. Dare I say it – compared to last year, life is definitely good. Last year at this time I had pneumonia. Last year at this time I was jobless. Last year at this time I was totally, and completely alone, and felt like I had nothing to look forward to, except making my way to the back of my refrigerator. Oh, and watching The Bachelor.

I know, I know, you’re groaning right now, but I can’t help it. I am fascinated by the process of one man being given a room full of women, fully suited to his taste, and over the course of six weeks he has no other responsibility in life than to focus solely on falling in love with one of them. Stuff good TV is made of? Definitely. Possible in real life? Ask me a year ago I would have said no way. Now? I think it might not be so far-fetched.

Yep, I’m feeling pretty good these days – I haven’t had so much as a sniffle, I’m doing what I love and getting paid for it, I’m comfortably in my skinny jeans AND I have met some amazing men – who are actually still calling weeks later. I have to admit, it’s been quite a whirlwind.

When I created my “If you build it, he will come” strategy for the New Year, I really didn’t plan for the “they will come” part.

I know I got my swagger on big time last week and in my cocky prom queen state of mind said that I wanted to keep them all. The truth of the matter is, I don’t want to keep them all forever. At the end of the day, I’m still the girl who wants just one – THE one. So I guess my question last time shouldn’t have been “Why can’t I keep them all?” it should have been “How do I make sure I keep the right one?”

I think it goes without saying that I have made some missteps along the way. Quite possibly, I had my nose in a book (or a cheeseburger) when Mr. Right might have walked in and out of my life. Quite possibly, he was right in front of me waving his arms and I was looking up – or down – or behind me. Quite possibly, he’s doing it now – and I’m missing it. I hope not.

I actually feel like I am living my own series of The Bachelorette right now. I’ve made it through the first half of the season, and I’m down to the hometown dates. I found the guys I like, I feel a connection with each of them, and I think I know which one I like the best, but what if I’m wrong? What if I pick the wrong one? And even worse, what if I totally messed up and already sent the right guy home? I may have handed out a lot of roses in the last five weeks, but there can only be one rose in the end.

So how do I look in front of me when I’m so used to looking anywhere, everywhere else?

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