The Other Cruise
The Urban Dictionary defines “getting cruised” as: A) to search (as in public places) for a sexual partner B) to go about the streets at random but on the lookout for possible developments. There were a few other definitions, but they were way too offensive, even for me.
My point of all this – I got cruised! I absolutely, positively, one hundred percent got cruised – and I am damn proud of it (clearly). And if you didn’t know about the Urban Dictionary before this post, you haven’t lived.
It wasn’t like it was a late-night cruise either. It was 11pm on a weeknight. I had gone to a friend’s engagement party, which in itself could have been the culprit because maybe the scent of my lack of a mate was in the air. I had just spent 4 hours toasting the happy couple, watching their families and friends fawn all over them while they gazed into each other’s eyes with giddy grins of joy (and a slight look of fear at the thought of the chaos ahead). Don’t get me wrong – I actually left the party in a good mood – I was happy for my friends, had a tummy filled with good food, great wine and even better champagne, and had spent the majority of the party being flirted with by her cousin who while sweet, was not my type 20 years ago when he flirted with me in high school. But I looked good, I felt good, and life in my un-engaged world was overall – good.
And then it happened.
I was stopped at a light, singing at the top of my lungs to Captain and Tennille (gotta love 70s on 7) and I looked to my left. A cute guy in a truck was looking at me. I smiled, figuring that the staring was due to my dorky singing, bouncing and steering wheel drumming. He smiled. But not the “You’re a weirdo” smile, it was actually a “You’re pretty cute” smile. Then the light turned green and I took off (lead foot). But at the next light – same drill. And the next TEN lights. With each light, I could swear he got cuter.
And then I recognized him – from Facebook. I knew FB would come back to haunt me! But this time in a good way. He was a “friend” of a “friend” and I had never quite figured out a way to meet him in person – until now. Thank you, Cruising Gods.
He pulled up next to me again and made the universal “roll down your window” sign (which cracks me up because no one under 40 has probably ever owned a car without electric windows). So I did. He said, “Hi, where are you going?” I said (brilliantly), “Home.” He said, “You’re really pretty. We should go get a drink sometime.” I said, “You know me.” (Brilliant comeback, right?) So I told him (amidst lots of honking) about our Facebook connection. He actually looked excited. Not only was the girl he was cruising responding, but she was rolling out the red carpet. He said, “That’s great! I’ll contact you!” and zipped off.
Then I realized I’m not on Facebook anymore.
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Baby, Let’s Cruise
The Beach Boys went “cruisin’” every Saturday night… Smokey Robinson waxed poetic of “cruisin’” to a gaggle of hungry women many years later… but I haven’t heard much about cruising this last decade or so. Now here you are, getting “cruised,” on a balmy autumn night – I like it. I like it that they can still write songs about the same possibilities today, as they did yesterday. I can hear the opening guitar riff already… It’s a sample, of course.
You realize this is a universal moment across America and beyond, right? The cute girl and the cute guy at a red light for what seems like eternity… Lo and behold, there are no other cars in sight – and where did that music swell come from? Still, as cynical as I prefer to be, I totally get it. It’s the easiest thing in the world to dismiss, until it happens to you. I can’t count how many times I’ve pulled up to a red light and “discreetly” checked out the cute girl alongside of me. Most of the time, she’s “discreetly” checking me out at the same time. God forbid I ever take it beyond that, though. What if I get caught looking? What if I smile and there’s a piece of lettuce in my teeth? What if I’m driving an American car (since I am)? No thanks to all of the above. I completely admire this guy for A) getting caught looking at you, B) smiling at you, without leering, and C) getting under your skin in thirty seconds or less. Tell the truth, did you get his license plate? Even a partial? I can tell just by your writing that you enjoyed the moment. I don’t blame you… Who wouldn’t enjoy a moment as fundamentally satisfying as this?
So what happens now? If only you hadn’t given up your Facebook account in a fit of disgust and common sense. It was such a good idea at the time… No more useless information from people you don’t care about, and no more flirtatious wall postings from guys that ignored you in high school… But I’m thinking that Facebook account would come in pretty handy right about now, as much as I applauded your decision at the time. How easy would it be to ever so casually follow up with the four-wheel lothario on cyber terrain? How much fun would it be to let your Facebook fingers wander into the world of “maybe, just maybe” right now?
I don’t know what you’ve done about this since then, if anything. Knowing you as I do, I would expect you to do something. But knowing your friends as I do, I would expect them to tell you not to. I wouldn’t know what to tell you about this having any more life to it than what you’ve shared here beyond this. Just because anything is possible in life doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to you… or me… or anyone, in particular. As Mickey Rourke said in “Diner,” many years ago, “If you don’t have dreams… you have nightmares.”
Life and love aren’t fantasies… But that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be great if they were.
Cruising is so 50′s-60′s I love that your still doing it. If the “truck” was worth it go back on facebook. If not chalk it up to a good ride home.