December 18th, 2009

Holiday Blues? Or Blahs?

I have the holiday blues. It doesn’t come as much of a surprise, I get them every year. I think it has something to do with the insane pace that leads up to the holidays. You work your ass off and then BAM! It’s a mad rush – to relax.

But does anyone really relax over the holidays? To me, it just seems like a lot of pressure. Pressure to get all of your shopping done (which for me happens in one day since I hate to shop), pressure to see your friends (which for me doesn’t usually happen because I end up getting sick over the holidays since my body finally slows down), and finally, pressure to be in love (which for me is usually the time I am not in love because I have spent all year dating and seem to shoot my wad by October). I’m pretty much always single at the holidays. And for some reason, the holidays are the only time I really wish I weren’t single.

Well, let’s be honest – maybe it’s more about holiday sex. Or at least kissing at the end of a countdown.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not having a pity party, I’m just waxing nostalgic. I mean, let’s take a look back, shall we? Ten years ago I was dating Mountain Man… He gave me a hideous bright yellow ski suit (I don’t ski). He told me he loved me for the first time on New Year’s Eve. I, after two bottles of champagne, told him, “Thank you.” That for some reason set the end of our relationship in motion.

Seven years ago I was dating The Brit. We gave each other engraved Tiffany key chains. After two bottles of champagne I told him that I loved him. He said, “Really? I didn’t think you cared that much because you’re always so easy going.”

Five years ago I was dating the Love of My Life. I didn’t need any alcohol to profess my love – I was stone cold sober crazy about the man. We were even talking marriage. We went on a fancy vacation and he showered me in pearls. But the phone call from his girlfriend kind of killed my Christmas. That – and I really hate jewelry. Especially pearls.

Two years ago I was dating the Hot Guy. I was truly having fun going to all the holiday parties in which I usually shun. It was just little ol’ me on the arm of Buzz Lightyear with his killer watt smile and charm that sucked in every man, woman and child from miles away. He didn’t have a lot of cash, but he made me a mix tape. I was happy – until I found out about his rap sheet a mile long. Ah, but he sure was cute.

Which leads me to this year: Extra Large Jerk is nowhere in sight, I’m in my skinny jeans, I have great friends, my family seems to be behaving at the moment, and my career goals are set in motion for the New Year.

Not so bad on paper. And I do have a date tomorrow night…

One Response to “Holiday Blues? Or Blahs?”

  1. avatar Lisa Steinke says:

    I hate shopping too! OMG!

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December 18th, 2009

Ghosts of Holidays Past

Everybody says one of two things when describing how they feel about the holiday season. Universally, it’s either “I love the holidays!” or “I hate the holidays.”

It always makes me feel so out of place. Why? Because I don’t feel either way. Time off from work, I like. The department store soundtrack drowning me for six weeks, not so much. The excitement of my son’s face as he unwraps a present, absolutely… the memory of my divorce taking flight during my last holiday season at home, no thanks. To me, the holidays are like most things in life… they’re fine.

BTW, let’s not forget — the mad rush that your holidays become every year? Completely self-imposed. Still, you did sound a little run-down on the phone the other night and I have met at least some of your family, so you’re definitely cleared for introspection.

Of course, being a chick, you’re bound to comprise your calendar of holiday memories based on your love life. It’s very romantic (which actually seems a little out of character for you). I still think about my first bicycle when the holidays roll around… not particularly romantic, or mature I know, but it’s healthy to retain at least a smidgen of one’s innocence, no matter how old one gets.

I doubt either one of us is particularly unusual in reminiscing during the holidays. I’ll bet most people spend a larger-than-usual part of their time during the holidays doing the very same thing. I think what catches us by surprise during the holidays is NOT the reminiscing we do — it’s the looking ahead we feel compelled to do. Let’s say you’re someone whose life is full of great uncertainty at this time (uh, hello)… looking ahead might not be the most motivational idea to follow right now. On the other hand, let’s say you’re someone whose life is full of joy and satisfaction, for whatever reason at this time… looking ahead could very well translate into a truly inspirational holiday moment. I wouldn’t know about this firsthand, mind you… but I’d be willing to find out.

Thinking like a chick for a minute, maybe there is a romantic holiday memory I can share. There is one holiday season I can remember upon which they could have based a line of holiday greeting cards. It was fresh and new and I’d been romantically dormant for quite some time before I met her… It started in the fall and didn’t end until spring… its peak included the stretch of mid-November thru mid-January that year… It was my best holiday season since that first bicycle.

Sometimes you gotta accept… and sometimes you gotta believe.



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