What’s The Skinny?
I went to a party the other night. For anyone who knows me well, that statement alone is earth-shattering, since I hate parties. Okay, hate is a strong word. How about despise? Parties have never been my thing. Maybe it’s because I’m short and feel claustrophobic in crowds. Maybe it’s because standing in a circle for 5 hours talking about nothing with strangers feels like a waste of time. Or maybe it’s because I’m never THAT girl – you know – the one who gets the attention. No, that girl is usually the one I bring to the party.
It is often said that attractive people usually attract other attractive people as friends. I know I just called myself attractive. But I just had the flu for a month and lost 9 pounds, so I’m feeling pretty hot these days. If only Extra Large Jerk could see me now… Anyway, my friends? For the most part, they are a damn fine-looking bunch. And not just the ladies. My guy friends are head-turners too (including my male counterpart, of course).
So I brought a friend to the party with me – a wing man if you will. She’s one of my most favorite friends. Not only is she cute, she’s smart- brilliant, actually. Over-educated, surprisingly funny, and honestly, one of the nicest women I know. As far as friends go, I hit the jackpot.
Except she’s skinny – and not the “she’s thin and I’m just jealous” because I’m rocking the booty. I’m talking this girl is head-turning, stranger whispering – SKINNY. If my grandmother were alive, she would definitely pull napkin-wrapped leftovers out of her purse and try to feed them to this girl. Let it be said, I love this friend. But when she got into my car dressed in leggings, knee-high boots and a short top, I knew my evening immediately went in a different direction. At that exact moment, I became invisible.
No matter how good I thought I looked at this party, the token skinny girl was there and guys were flocking. I would like to think it was her perfect straight teeth and killer dimples, but just as my chest is usually what men consider to be eye contact, so were those skintight leggings.
So please tell me – what exactly is the fascination with the skinny girl? Everyone always says, “It’s the city you live in. It’s not survival of the fittest – it’s survival of the thinnest.” I’m not buying it. There has to be another explanation. Is it sex? Do guys think skinny girls will be better in bed because those bony limbs will be more flexible than the ones with a little meat? Because let me tell you, I’m pretty proud of the fact that I can still do a backbend from standing position. I can’t get back up anymore, but I can still do it (and grab my ankles, thank you very much). Or is it because a guy knows if he’s dating a really skinny girl, the chances of her getting fat when she’s 50 are slim to none? (No pun intended.) The thing is, I know my friend is just as self-conscious about her non-curves as I am about my curves. And that endears her to me even more.
By the way, Blind Date Guy was at the party. The next day he texted me, “Do you think your skinny friend liked me?”
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The Naked Truth
Boy, I don’t know where to start…
I guess let’s start with the party thing. I completely agree with you. Parties suck. I’m definitely more the intimate setting dinner party guy rather than the party guy, but I wouldn’t mind having a keg to myself. I have to admit though, what I do love about parties are the women. You know, “those” women. The ones who came to the party hoping to meet “the guy of their dreams.” The ones whose eyes are constantly moving, scanning the room, looking for signs of life. Oh wait, that’s you. Just kidding. Okay, the ones like your skinny friend.
It’s funny that you use the word “skinny” with such reverence. Has “skinny” really ever been a good thing? Does “skinny” conjure up any images worth conjuring? Has any man ever sat with his buddies, burgers and fries and beers scattered about the table, and glowingly described the woman of his dreams as “skinny?” Do us both a favor; recognize the word skinny for what it truly means to a man — the same thing as the word fat… well, almost.
I also have to laugh at the visual of you and “skinny,” surrounded by men, most of them sizing her up as the conquest of a lifetime, the remaining wondering, “what’s her story?” referring to you in their wonder. Hey, I’ve been that guy before… in my younger days. Two women walk into a party, both pretty, one ten pounds up, the other ten pounds down. Who drew my attention? Ten pounds down, every time.
But that was a lifetime ago. A man needs to be young and shallow these days to think “skinny” is a woman worth his attention… young and shallow meaning under 80 years old and using Rogaine for that spot in the back, but you get my drift. And I doubt this is just indicative of where we live. I’d guess this scenario plays out in every city in America that ends in “ville.” It simply is what it is: A skinny woman will draw more attention than her slightly curvier counterpart. Men are mostly the same, present company excluded… Fully grown, yet still a teenager between the legs, lack of spontaneous combustion capability notwithstanding.
What you have to understand is that you are not the same as every other girl… you’re simply not, and it has almost nothing to do with the physical. Your greatest asset is also your greatest curse… your mind. If only I could convince you to transport your heart and psyche to the same place as that rapid-fire processor between your ears, you’d be in business (although our blog might no longer be). The bottom line is this; forget “skinny,” and “almost skinny,” and “skinnier than….” You are a bad-ass chick who loves her independence, respects a man who can keep up and will never lower the bar in order to raise the odds. Plus, all my friends think you’re hot. This is your reality… it could be a hell of a lot worse.
He didn’t really ask you if your skinny friend liked him, did he?
