The Cat Lady

Apparently something I said in my last entry was not well-received. Who knew that the masses shared exactly the same opinion as my childhood friend, Mrs. Perfect Marriage? According to all of YOU, I made a big mistake asking out Blind Date Guy. According to all of you, I should never, ever, ask out a guy, even if I’m dying and a date is the only thing that will save my life. In fact, according to all of you, no woman should ask out a man. Ever.

I just saw my life flash before my eyes. And it looked damn lonely.

Is that really right? Have women really not made the social stride of being the aggressor every once in a while? We can burn our bras but we can’t dial a number? Excuse me, but WHAT THE *#$!? Do you realize that if a woman never called a man and put forth an idea for an evening that important people in this country might never have been born? Like for instance, ME!

This is completely and utterly disturbing to me. I know I was teasing about my friend being old-fashioned, I know I making a lot of dating mistakes and constantly make my jokes about needing to sit back and be wooed, but c’mon, am I really NEVER supposed to even suggest making plans with a guy? Am I never supposed to offer to cook him dinner? Never supposed to offer to pick him up when he takes his car in? Never supposed to suggest a movie? Never supposed to ask him to go to the gym with me? (Okay, I probably would never do that but it sounded good.)

And what if I get invited somewhere with a “plus-one” – huh, smart people? What about that?

In fact, that very thing just happened. I was invited to a work party, with a plus-one. It was supposed to be a really fun party too, meaning free booze. So I asked Mrs. Perfect Marriage what to do. She said, “Don’t ask Blind Date Guy, it’s too soon.” Okay wait, so I’m actually given written permission on an invitation to ask someone out but now there are rules for that too? “Ask someone else,” she said, “like someone who you have already gone out with.” Newsflash – if I’ve already gone out with them, and I’m not going out with them at the present time, and I am currently interested in someone new, chances are I don’t WANT to go out with them again. But I guess that goes back to my do-over rule of a previous post. They don’t count. So if you’re keeping score Ladies, the only men you CAN ask out are the ones you don’t want to go out with anymore.

For the record, I did invite someone “from the shelf” and I finally heard back from him – AFTER the party.

No wonder single women my age have so many cats.

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