A Little More Of This
Let me start out by saying I love that you all bitch and complain – it means you’re reading our blog and that really excites us! Rather than responding in the comment section, we think this subject deserves one more post… And maybe one more after that…
First – with regards to Mrs. Perfect Marriage – of course I know that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. In fact, I hear you all loud and clear, no ass-smoke-blowing needed. So let me clarify what I meant to say – her marriage is perfect to ME. I highly doubt it’s perfect to her – she’s in it every minute of every day. But for me, it’s exactly what I think a marriage should be, and what I would want for my own marriage. They love and respect each other, they have beautiful, happy children, they laugh together (a lot) and they have regular sex (a lot). Most importantly, when you walk into their house, you don’t feel that stupid crappy tension cloud that often hovers in unhappy households – I know you know what I’m talking about. My male counterpart certainly knows what I’m talking about.
Before I move onto complaint #2… This blog is designed in such a way that I, a female, get to say whatever it is I’m doing or feeling whenever I do it or feel it, and in return I get an honest, no-holds-barred point of view from a man who has no motive other than to tell me exactly what he thinks, exactly when he thinks it (because that’s his job). That being said, we love that there is controversy regarding what I say and do, and what he thinks of it. That’s exactly what we intended when we began this online journey.
“Anonymous #1” said, “You absolutely could ask someone out, or invite them to your house for dinner, just don’t seem “needy” to him.” Huh? How does one seem needy when they invite a guy to their immaculate house and cook him a kick-ass dinner? I can only assume that what you meant to say was, “Invite him to your house for dinner, but don’t beg him to have sex with you because you’ll seem needy.” Okay people, give me a little credit. But, point taken. Do guys really think that we’re begging them to stay when we invite them over? As far as I’m concerned, a great guy is one who doesn’t stay over. But that’s just me.
From “Anonymous #2”: (I love that no one will leave their name, but then again, I’m a big hypocrite – my official name is “Her.”) “I’m good with calling a guy and putting yourself in a situation that makes it easier for him to ask you out…but I agree with your old-fashioned friend…I don’t think you should ask the guy out.” WHAT???? Okay, what does that mean, “put yourself in a situation?” You mean, like sit at a bar with an LED flashing on my forehead that says “Ask me out!” My friends and family put me in that situation every day. My mother once gave my phone number to someone in line at the post office.
I think we can debate this subject until we’re blue in the face. In hindsight do I think I should have asked Blind Date Guy out when I had only been on 2 informal dates with him? Probably not. Do I think I make dating mistake after dating mistake? Probably.
But I have to hope that someday, somewhere, there will be someone who will appreciate my dating clumsiness, and he will be attracted to the fact that no matter what game I play and fumble at, I’m still, simply, me.
One Response to “A Little More Of This”
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First This, Then That
Yeah, and another thing — you know, what she said.
You know what the problem is with the expression, “perfect marriage?” It includes the word, “perfect.” Here’s my idea of a perfect marriage – one in which neither one ever utters the word, “perfect.” But if we must document a list of the components of a so-called perfect marriage, can we at least agree that the ones you referenced: respect, sex, lack of storm clouds invading every room in the house – should be absolutely mandatory in any marriage? If these factors don’t exist in a marriage, then why is there even a marriage to begin with? Of course I have an advantage over some people when stating this. I speak from experience… and not the good kind.
So I take it that readers who comment on our blog are mostly women, correct? It’s so easy to tell. They suspend all sense of emotional satisfaction in exchange for rational thought and hopeless fantasy. What a lousy combo platter that is. What exactly do we get when we combine rational thought with hopeless fantasy, anyway? I don’t know either, but I’ll bet it doesn’t taste very good. Women aren’t the only victims of this folly – there are plenty of douche-bags, I mean men who order the same meal. It’s hard not to succumb to such common thought. Between Disney movies, organized religion and a whole different societal makeup, what chance have most of us had to formulate our own healthy view of the opposite sex? In the world of a 50% divorce rate, I still feel it’s a miracle that things are actually as good as they are between women and men.
Then there’s that ugly, defining characteristic in all of us that we try so hard to hide, if not downright purge from ourselves. Is there any trait so shared, yet so polarizing to men and women, than to be “needy?” Let’s get one thing really clear, and it applies to ALL of us. Needy is NEVER good. Needy is NEVER attractive. Needy is NEVER something a man or woman wants to be, even for a few minutes. Needy makes us weak. Needy makes us clingy. Needy makes us be the person we swore we’d never be. Oh, and needy doesn’t cook dinner for a man. Confident and sexy cooks dinner for a man. Needy needs to be taken out.
And is there really that much of a difference between asking a man out and “putting yourself in a situation” that makes it easier for him to ask? If a woman is going to go so far as to put the ball on the tee, shouldn’t she also be willing to swing their club? And are men really so simple that we won’t know what you’re trying to do? OK, scratch that question. But seriously, trust me on this… We’ll find you a lot more interesting and a lot more desirable if you look us in the eye and ask us to dinner than if you hide behind the nylon curtain, pulling strings and pushing buttons.
I never said to stand on a corner and hand out “Want a date?” business cards to every man who passes by. All I ever said was that if you find a man interesting and would like to spend some time with him, all you have to do is ask. You might be surprised at the results. I firmly believe that it’s beyond OK for a woman to ask a man on a date… As long as it’s not just any man and not just any date.
I think you should be yourself. Being fake never works in the long run. Some day your Kick ass dinner and personality is gonna win some guy over
. Of course there will have to be some physical chemistry as well.