Welcome To My World
I haven’t gotten laid since January. If you count only good and/or meaningful sex, it’s been even longer. Now, I don’t want to sound pathetic, but this is the longest drought I’ve EVER had… well, at least since I lost my virginity. What bugs me more than the last eight months is the nagging numb feeling between my legs telling me that the next eight months are looking equally as bleak. Oh, and you couldn’t be more right about everybody talking about it. It seems that I’m the only high-quality (if I say so myself) single man remotely near my age who isn’t getting laid on a regular basis. Guys who have absolutely NO BUSINESS getting laid are getting laid instead of me. The fact that I have only myself to blame is sounding lamer by the hour.
BTW, the “male friend” who told you that a man doesn’t want a whore in the bedroom? He has no idea what he’s talking about. When he tells you that, it’s not because he doesn’t want a whore in the bedroom… it’s because he only wants her to be a whore in his bedroom. And c’mon, isn’t it pretty easy to get laid if you’re a woman? How tough can it be if all a woman has to do is raise her hand and say, “Yes”…? Okay, maybe that isn’t fair – true, but not fair.
I’m proud of you. Even if Law & Order reruns are making you horny, you don’t even consider lowering the bar. You fully realize this point of view may continue to limit your sex life to battery powered devices, but it’s a chance you’re willing to take. You’re done. You’ve had it. The next man that even gets a sniff of your libido is going to be worth the emotional risk, or there won’t be a next man – period. Outside of the fact that the only shirtless man you’ve seen since mid-summer has been in People Magazine, don’t you feel good about yourself? Aren’t you proud of yourself? It’s the same thing I tell my teenage son… Anybody can get laid (except me, apparently). Knowing when not to unzip your pants will do anyone’s self-esteem a lot of good.
On the other hand, we need to get laid – both of us. If what that means to you is to start dating again, then go for it. For me, I feel like dating would do my sex life way more harm than good. You know I don’t date and you know why… because dating unequivocally, SUCKS. On the other hand, I asked a woman out the other day and she said yes… there was even a hint of enthusiasm in her voice. Maybe it’s time for me to start dating again too.
One Response to “Welcome To My World”
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Who’s A Girl To Do?
I miss sex.
I know that’s not a very ladylike thing to say, but I’ll say it again: I miss sex. It’s been two months since the breakup and even though the sex wasn’t anything to write home about, it was still sex and I was still having it. And now that I’m not, it seems like everyone else is – and it’s all they talk about – ALL THE TIME. And the more they talk about it, the more I can’t stop thinking about the fact that I’m not having it. Which brings me to my point – what are women supposed to do? Or, more appropriately, who? (Although I guess I should say, “whom.”)
I think the old saying goes something like this: “A woman should be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom.” I’m not so sure that’s really true. I was talking to a friend of mine today (guy) and he said that men don’t really want women who are “a whore in the bedroom” because they worry that then they are actually, whores.
So basically, we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t. If we give a good blowjob, we only give a good blowjob because we’ve given a lot of blowjobs. If we’re great in bed, we’re only great in bed because we sleep around. How do you figure? I’m good at laundry, but it’s not because I do everyone’s laundry. I’m just good at laundry. And blowjobs. Sue me.
I decided to ask around. Another guy friend said men want their women to be crazy about them, but they don’t want to know about it. They want a girlfriend who worships them, but they don’t want her to be “sing-songy” and “flowery” about it. So, let me get this straight: You want a girl to be all over you but not all over you? And men think women are confusing? I’m fucking perplexed. And that’s the only fucking going on.
It’s time to date again. I’m over the ex (I know, that was fast) and I’m single and ready to mingle. So am I supposed to want sex or not want sex? I’m a healthy, fun-loving, birth-control using (except for that one regret-filled shower incident) thirty-something, and I WANT SEX. Am I really supposed to pretend like I don’t? I know, I know, not everyone feels this way. Some guys claim they want a girl who lays it all out on the table (including a girl who “lays it all out” on the table). But those are the men my grandmother told me to stay away from.
Because I’m really a nice girl – who just happens to like sex.
2 Responses to “Who’s A Girl To Do?”
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Anonymous says:
How refreshing. I join your confussion in a very unfortunate way, I don’t get it either. I was raised by strick morals for which I lived up to and found my sexual partners easily gathered to fit on one hand. I consider myself a quality women who has been described as a “Lady”. My tightly wound exterior leads only the very perceptive men to guess how vulnerable I am. I would make a lousy slut. What is a whore anyway? I’m beginning to ask this question frequently when I consider acting out my desires. Is a whore a women who doesn’t care about the person who she’s with, or is a whore a women who cares less of herself in that interaction. More importantly, what is the definition of a whore to a man. Or are men just as abstract about subject as women are. I see myself as a decent women who was horribly neglected in a long marriege to be brought to place of pure and unappologitic need to connect physically with a man. Does that make me a potential whore, perhapes. I woke up, found all the parts work beautifully and I’m grateful I have a second chance to discover all this hype about sex to be true. So my question, how if it possible at all, does an attractive women who is comfortable being respected and thought of as a lady have sex?
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Anonymous says:
Does it really matter what other people think of you as? A whore…a slut. I think it only matters what you think of yourself. I’m 24 years old and to be completely honest with you I can’t count on two hands how many men I’ve had interactions with. Does that make me a whore? Maybe to some people, but not to me. I think of myself as a beautiful, strong, open minded women, inside and out. No one will ever beable to take that away from me. In the end only one person can judge me and I don’t think I’ve done anything horribly wrong to be denied. “Confused Thirty Something”…I say go for want you truly want…if you can’t make yourself happy then who can?
I appreciate your thoughts. I’m comforted knowing that you feel just as vunerable as I do. I don’t want casual experiences, I had enough of that during my marriege. Is it niave to expect to be attracted to a man, who’m I resonate with, and have a meaningful fun romp. Or are those terms mutually conflicting concepts and I’m due for a rude awaking?