Teen Beat
I hate teenagers. I’m allowed to say that because I have one. I love him with all of my heart until the end of time… But I don’t always like him. I’m talking about a real teenager here – 17, not 13. I’m talking a teenager who will wash his pizza down with a beer if I’m not looking… who wouldn’t know a bookstore from an army recruiting office. You got off easy spending the weekend with your niece. At thirteen, they still light up a house when they smile. They still warm your soul when they give you a hug. Their voices are still a sweet octave higher than they will be much too soon. And you’re right; hanging with a cool thirteen year-old beats the hell out of hanging with most adults. But then they turn 14 and it’s all over. They’re headed to 17 and you can’t stop it.
My other son will soon be thirteen years old. But he’s still twelve, and I’m digging every last minute of it. He’s precocious, yet still innocent. He’s self-absorbed, but only after engaging everyone in the room for hours. He’s funny, and how many twelve year-olds can an adult say that about? The other day he did a David Caruso imitation that should have been on Youtube. Plus, he loves the Celtics as much as I do. If that doesn’t guarantee us a bond for life, nothing will. I know exactly how you felt hanging with your niece this weekend. Hanging with a 12 or 13 year-old who you love like that is basically heaven. But get ready; hanging out with them four years from now may at times be basically hell.
The truth be told, I completely lucked out in the teenager department also. My teenage son is no angel, but he’s MY no-angel. He has an attitude, but it’s an attitude that he’ll need to be successful. On those all-too-rare occasions when he lets down his guard and opens up to me, I’m pleasantly surprised as often I am anything else. There’s another factor, too; it’s somewhat jarring, but almost always cool as hell. The kid doesn’t just look like me or act like me – he is me. My son has my forehead, my legs and my moxie. He has my lazy streak and he has my driven streak. His moods cover every piece of real estate between the lands of joy and misery. I look at my son and I see myself… Only a “myself” that I can still change.
Guess we could all take a lesson from a teenager every once in a while. Well, maybe once.
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A Teen-y Bit Better
Let me start by saying the double blind date guy didn’t call. Neither did the other one.
I spent the weekend with a teenager. Get your minds out of the gutter, people — this was not a cougar situation. I had my niece for the weekend. And I’ve got to say, it beat the pants off of any dates I’ve had lately.
I have more nieces and nephews than I can count, and I love them all. But there is something different about this kid, always has been. Yes, part of it has to deal with the fact that she is the spitting image of me, down to the eyebrows which needed waxing at 12, and the big saucers for eyes that luckily still pretty much get me whatever I want… Besides all that, and the fact that when I asked where she wanted to go shopping she said the bookstore (she is SO my kid)… No, besides all that, I got to do something I really needed to do right now: I got to see life through the eyes of a non-cynical child who sees the world for what it could be, and not what it is or isn’t. The timing couldn’t have been better.
My life doesn’t totally suck; I think we’ve established so far that it’s not half-bad. But I have to admit, right about now, my proverbial life glass doesn’t feel anywhere close to half-full. However, when that kid bounced in my car with a grin the size of Texas, that glass was immediately running over. Yes, I spent the weekend spoiling her; but it really didn’t matter what we did. She was happy to just “be.” I’m trying to think of the last time I could say that. It’s been a while.
I know life as a 13 year-old is different than life as a well, not 13 year-old. I’m just saying, maybe there is something to be said for waking up every so often and living your day like a teenager. So here’s the schedule: Spend 5 more minutes in bed just stretching. Take 15 minutes to snuggle up in a blanket on the couch and read a book before taking a shower and getting dressed. Eat pancakes for breakfast. Take 15 more minutes with the blanket and the book. Watch a movie at 11am. Eat a cupcake for lunch. Buy two t-shirts for $20. Get toenails painted blue with white flowers. Eat pizza for dinner. Watch another movie and read another book in bed.
It was a perfect weekend. I’m thinking I need to do it again sometime.
But with a 40 year-old man.
