Maybe Next Time, Baby
September 19th, 2009For the record, it isn’t only women who freak out when a period is late. For every freaked-out female lying awake at night, wrestling with the possible results of a pregnancy test, there also hides a cowardly lion of a man, as scared and clueless as any potential baby mama could ever be.
Not for nothing, but you simply cannot get pregnant right now. You have way too much to do, and we have much to discuss. Besides, the most recent sex you’ve had was with a guy we now label, “Extra-Large Jerk.” He will NEVER deserve to have your baby – and the last thing you ever need is to have his.
That aside, how relieved are you? Please admit to something we already both know – that the last thing you want in your life right this minute is a baby. Under the umbrella of, “no news is good news,” you not being knocked-up might be the best “no news” I’ve heard in a long, long time. The recent El Nino occurrence in the South Pacific is now being directly credited to the sigh of relief you released when you discovered you were not with child.
On the other hand, we both know you want a baby in your life, someday. Not this baby, and maybe not this life, but you must have felt at least a twinge of disappointment at not being pregnant… again… still. I don’t say this to hurt your feelings. I say this because I truly believe that every woman should have at least one child in her life (unless she doesn’t want to, of course), without question or doubt. You’ve always been a slam-dunk to be a great mother; one of these days that greatness will be tapped – and under much better circumstances.
It will be nice if your circumstances include a home, a husband and a happily ever after, but we both know that option simply isn’t as common as it once was. People get divorced all of the time now, no matter how many kids they have. People have children without getting married. Famous women adopt children from other countries, rich women have as many children as the household help can raise and then there’s the women who have children to give themselves an identity or to trap some knucklehead into a lifetime together or both.
All of the above of is unacceptable, but the freedom and options they’ve unleashed is not. EVERY woman who wants a child should have one. (Except you this time because it would mean you’d be sharing your life with an asshole. Not to mention the beady eyes and pasty skin your judgmental baby would have had.)
Whatever the circumstances when your time comes (and it will), the smile on my face will be almost as big as when my own children were born.
One more reason I’m glad I’m a man.
