Gimme Some Sugar… Daddy
September 28th, 2009Remind me not to fall in love with you when I turn 60…
So what’s a poor girl to do? Women crack me up, they really do… You (not you, per se, but the collective you) spend your whole childhood dreaming of the fairytale – Mr. Right, and all the fantastic qualities he will possess. Then he actually does come along, and he actually does possess those qualities, but the package simply isn’t going to cut it because there’s one piece that doesn’t fit… He’s too old.
Before going any further, let me make something very clear: Choosing not to be with a man because he was born two decades earlier than you is the absolute right call. What do we think whenever we see a middle-aged and older guy with a much younger woman? He’s loaded, she’s a pathetic gold-digger and what little sex they have is no fuss, no muss. You’re the last woman I know who would compromise her romantic beliefs in exchange for a country club membership.
Quick aside: “Make sure you find a man who loves you more than you love him???” Would you mind giving me her phone number? Satan will be visiting from hell next week and I think he would like her. But still…
Let’s face it, there’s no shortage of women in this life who would jump at the possibilities you’re willing to turn down. What rankles is when the roles are reversed. When we turn down a woman because she isn’t pretty or sexy or young enough (um, hello, didn’t you just get dumped?) you rip us to shreds. Shallow… pathetic… disgusting… these are the terms you choose to describe us to your friends and co-workers. Why is it all right for you to want sex with someone who’s younger and leaner and doesn’t need medical assistance to rock your body, but when we want the same thing we’re all creeps? I guess nobody ever said the world of men and women was going to make sense.
Yes, you should feel a little like a hypocrite – but only a little. And it’s a hell of a lot better than what you’d be if you’d gone in the opposite direction. So do me a favor, don’t stop dreaming. One of us still should.
