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So there’s this guy who’s in love with me. I don’t mean that to sound conceited. I think we all know I’m a pretty self-deprecating girl – but this guy is in love with me. He’s smart. He’s funny. He’s successful and filthy rich. He calls me every day, treats me to fancy dinners, buys [...]
Remind me not to fall in love with you when I turn 60…
So what’s a poor girl to do? Women crack me up, they really do… You (not you, per se, but the collective you) spend your whole childhood dreaming of the fairytale – Mr. Right, and all the fantastic qualities he will possess. Then [...]
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Hi, my name is ________ and I am a Facebook-aholic. It has been more than two weeks since my last status update.
Growing up, I always knew I had an addictive personality, and I still do. I start a book – I have to finish it that day. I do laundry – I have to clean [...]
Facebook has to be the most revolutionary and boundary-defying product of technology to come along since the cell phone ring that was heard in the wrong place, at the wrong time. It brings people together and turns the internet into one giant cocktail party. It’s awesome. It rocks. And it sucks.
I knew it wouldn’t be [...]
For the record, it isn’t only women who freak out when a period is late. For every freaked-out female lying awake at night, wrestling with the possible results of a pregnancy test, there also hides a cowardly lion of a man, as scared and clueless as any potential baby mama could ever be.
Not for nothing, but you simply cannot [...]
Now that my slate AND my apartment are sparkling clean, I can move on with my life. Except for one thing – I’m late. You know, LATE.
I have been sexually active for exactly twenty years. (I just sounded like my gynecologist.) And in those twenty years, I have never been late. I am like clockwork [...]
There truly is nothing in life as liberating and inspiring as a clean slate. Being a neat freak myself, I can imagine your house as nothing but completely immaculate right now. I’ve cleaned my house under the duress of real life more times than I care to remember and I eventually figured out why and what this signified. [...]
For most of my life, I have been teased. Yes, I was teased by my siblings for the usual childhood stuff, but I am most teased about my cleanliness. I guess I’m what you would call a neat freak. So it makes perfect sense that the first thing I do after a relationship ends – [...]
There are so many points where what you’ve been through is just plain WRONG, I truly don’t know where to start. I am left to ask myself, what if this had happened to me. What, if anything could I, or would I, or should I have done to make sure a dream this bad was [...]
Now that a few days have passed since “the dumping” and I am halfway between heartbroken and totally bitter and angry, I am replaying the break-up conversation. Cue groans.
When asked why he dated me in the first place (yes, I asked), he said, “Because I was very taken with your personality and mind. I did not think [...]
