Oops, I Did It Again
June 8th, 2009I told myself the last time that I wouldn’t let it happen again. The effort was there, as was the determination, but before I knew it, it was happening and I couldn’t do a thing to stop it. In a matter of mere moments, I once again went from date — to wing man. It shouldn’t have happened. I thought my plan was foolproof. He isn’t from here. He doesn’t know another soul in 1500 miles. I would be his only focus. He would hang on my every word, only have eyes for me, and think I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. And then I woke up.
I should have thought about the fact that I was inviting a 33 year-old man-child to visit. I was opening the door to Oz. And he didn’t just follow the yellow brick road, he quickly became the bricklayer! Things started out great. He got off the plane, we had one nervous, shy moment and then we were off and running. The first 24 hours were perfect. I felt like a million bucks. Then I made a fatal mistake. I took him to a notorious hot spot with a great view. A great view of perfect women, that is. He was like a pigeon at the beach and someone just dropped a bag full of bread crumbs on his head. In one split second I went from the most amazing girl in the world to his waitress, handing him beer as he passed by on his way to the next woman he was going to hit on. Every so often I’d see him point to me as if to say, “She’s so cool. But we’re just friends.” He did check on me periodically. But that was really just to tell me that he couldn’t believe how easy it was to pick up chicks in my city. Did I somehow grow a dick between dinner and dessert? Yet I didn’t say anything, just smiled and waved back because I’m so easy going. After all, I’m a great wing man. So how do I break this trend? How do I lose my cool chick-ness? My temporary solution – I’m done.
Dating, that is.
