The Booty Call
I got a booty call Saturday night. A booty phone call, that is. I guess it would have been a knock at my door, but the caller happens to live clear across the country. A booty call, by definition (yes I looked it up) is: A telephone call, usually the sole purpose of which is to elicit a spontaneous and/or casual sexual encounter with the person so contacted.
So I guess a booty call really is just supposed to be a phone call. Who knew?! All these years I figured a booty call meant a call, followed by a nocturnal visit. To think of all the condom money I could have saved… Anyway, back to the caller. As I mentioned, he lives in another state — far, far away. So why call me? I had one drink with the guy, a few months ago no less, haven’t talked to him, but I get the call. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot,” he said. I was flattered. He’s younger, great looking, successful, and has a billion hot women on his Facebook page… “I’ve mostly been thinking about you late at night,” he said. “And if I’m being honest, I’ve ‘used’ you a few times.” Okay, seriously? Does that line really work?
Yes, yes it does. For about 7 minutes. And now he wants to visit.
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Give Him The Boot-y
I don’t know if you can really call this a booty call. By definition, the call is supposed to elicit a spontaneous sexual encounter. How spontaneous can this encounter be if the guy lives clear across the country? This is more like a “long-term, lay the foundation, maybe sneak in some phone sex” call… it’s totally different (not that I would know).
On the other hand, he could have just texted you a booty call… Insulting, but fairly common from what I’ve heard, although inherently ineffective if you both don’t reside within the same area code.
I’ll give him this much – admitting that he’s used you (wouldn’t you rather be used in person?) late at night took some major cojones. Apparently it worked. You’d never catch me admitting this to a wife or girlfriend, much less a long distance booty call, but if it gave you both seven minutes of hot and humid weather who am I to argue? On the other hand, is there any visual more off-putting than a man, any man, beating himself off to conclusion?
So when is he coming to visit?
